From Childminder to Foster Carer of 3 Siblings: Lia Martin

Lia has wanted to be a foster carer for as long as she can remember.

She first started seriously considering a fostering agency in 2006, after buying her first house, but she held back, nervous about becoming a single foster carer. Instead, she threw herself into her career as a childminder.

A shared goal to foster

She met her husband in 2012, who had also been considering fostering. He took out groups of kids who weren’t participating in lessons through his support-worker role at a school. He realised that some children were having bad experiences at home, and he wanted to help.

They soon began to investigate the options. After they were married in 2015 Lia’s friend recommended Blue Sky Fostering. They went to a Blue Sky information evening in October and decided to apply. The following year they became foster carers with Blue Sky Fostering.

Meeting their children

After giving respite foster care for one weekend, they received a phone call from Blue Sky to say there was a chance that three children may need a home. A few days went by. Lia remembers back:- “We were pacing, we were panicking, we were excited. We were, you know, trying to concentrate on work. Then I think it was 7:15 in the evening when the social worker rang us to say they’d just got the decision from the court that the children needed to go into foster care.”

“We were pacing, we were panicking, we were excited. We were, you know, trying to concentrate on work. Then I think it was 7:15 in the evening when the social worker rang us to say they’d just got the decision from the court that the children needed to go into foster care.”

Within a couple of hours, the children had arrived: two boys aged six and five, and their younger sister, aged two. They had absolutely nothing with them other than the clothes on their backs. The following morning Lia and her husband went to the hospital to get the eldest medications for his allergies, and then they went straight to the shopping centre and ‘bought everything we could think of.’ Lia explained, “At the beginning, you're adjusting and learning about them and trying to do the best for them. It’s very different because it’s all new - it’s new to them. You're settling them and you're trying to be there for them, so they understand they're in a safe place.”

Adjusting to a new life

“At the beginning, you're adjusting and learning about them and trying to do the best for them. It’s very different because it’s all new - it’s new to them. You're settling them, and you're trying to be there for them so they understand they're in a safe place.”

Lia’s husband became the main foster carer for the siblings, and Lia remained in her job as a childminder, childminding tiny babies right up to teenagers. Along with the three siblings, it wasn’t uncommon for Lia and her partner to have 6 children in the house all at once.

Lia says, “We had a lot of time for the kids because we were based at home. The boys were at school during the day in term time, but during the summer holidays, the siblings always had children to play with. It was nice, I think it helped them at the very beginning to settle in. They could ask the other children questions, which may have been easier than asking an adult they still didn’t know."

During Covid Lia’s childminding job was put on hold, the siblings were home-schooled, and they also decided to move further away. Lia says, “Although I kept my registration up, childminding came to a natural end. After we moved, I just thought, ‘I don’t really want to do that again. I want to be fully available.’

From career to full-time foster carer

Lia’s skills in childcare have come in useful in the role of a foster carer, the early years training and developmental courses she took have allowed her to understand just how important the early years are: “The things that you do with children, how you help them to learn, discover, explore – all those different bits. I’m still using some of that work now; it helps me to understand the children because they missed a lot.”

Like all foster carers, Lia has mandatory training. She’s currently completed a course called Digital World; next week she’ll be learning about Attachment. But she also attends further courses with Blue Sky, “I've just finished a course about food disorders, because I have a teenage girl in the house, and I just think it's important to learn different things.”

Witnessing change

Lia says fostering “is an amazing thing to do”. More recently Lia became a single foster carer, which coincided with the two eldest kids entering new difficult transitions into their teenage years. She says, “Since becoming a single foster carer and things changing with the boys, Blue Sky has put in extra support. There are people looking out for me, reminding me to look after myself.”

“Since becoming a single foster carer and things changing with the boys, Blue Sky has put in extra support. There are people looking out for me, reminding me to look after myself.”

A decade with Blue Sky has been a long time but when asked whether Lia had witnessed lots of changes, she says her experience has felt ‘very steady’, “They connect more with carers now to get their views and input, so we work together more as a team.” She recently attended a nearby Blue Sky Roadshow, where team members visit local areas to connect with the carers to learn from one another.

She adds “We’ve always gone to the fun days and a lot of the events which they put on, which are amazing.” Lia initially lived just a few minutes from her nearest hub in Ringwood, Dorset, but now lives further out near Salisbury. She says, "We have a really good support network in Salisbury. We have unofficial meet-ups. We meet up and have brunch and sometimes meet for coffee, just one or two of us will meet for coffee. And last year we made an official support group for us here, as otherwise, it could be a bit of a trek.”

"We have a really good support network in Salisbury. We have unofficial meet-ups. We meet up and have brunch and sometimes meet for coffee, just one or two of us will meet for coffee. And last year made an official support group for us here, as otherwise, it could be a bit of a trek.”

Too many memories for just one

The children are now aged 15, 13 and 11, and when asked for some memories from the last decade Lia exclaims that she has too many! She considers for a while, “A memory that combines all of them: we used to hire this beach hut not too far away by the sea. We’d hire it for two or three weeks in the summer and we’d get down there every single day. My ex-partner had a dinghy and would take the kids out. My oldest one loves cars and roads, and they built a village from the sand. People would stop as they walked along. He built the children things from sand, like the shape of an aeroplane, so they'd all be in it. The children were proper beach bums, and they would all go really, really tanned. They loved the sea, they loved the sand. We would just spend hours down there. There wasn’t any stress from school as we were in the summer holidays. We had a gas camping stove, and we’d have a burger or bacon sandwiches. We did that for a few years in a row, and they are good memories.”

"The kids need us"

Lia says, “I love doing it. Even when things are difficult - I’ve had the same children for eight and a half years. It's about how things have changed for those children. It's about what they're going through now.

The kids need us, don't they? They need to have people that want to do it [foster] and give them that love and support for the rest of their lives. It sounds really corny -but that's how I feel. The main reason I wanted to foster is that I didn’t want kids to get split up. It upsets me; we've been lucky that we've been able to do that for our guys. Of course, it comes with its ups and downs; it’s important to do the training. It's important that you feel that you are supported. It's important that you understand it's not all going to be a bed of roses because it isn't – but it’s worth it. "

The kids need us, don't they? They need to have people that want to do it [foster] and give them that love and support for the rest of their lives.