The Role of a Foster Carer: Frances

What kind of foster care are you involved in?

I’m trained to foster 0-18 year-olds as well as Parent and Child fostering, but I choose to do Respite foster care. I could do full-term fostering if I wanted to though.

What led to the decision to become a Respite foster carer full-time? Did you try other types of fostering first?

Yes, my first placements were with a 14-year-old and a 15-year-old; then I fostered a 9-year-old. Just after the 9-year-old left, the lockdown began and I didn’t see anyone because I’m immunosuppressed. After lockdown, I decided to try focusing solely on being Respite foster carer, as it would allow me to do my own thing in between seeing young people [and parents and children].

So that's what I did. Most of the Respite foster care I do happens to be for Parent and Child placements, or for babies that are going into a permanent home.

How often do you have Respite placements?

Almost always! I am virtually always working - although I can take breaks whenever I want to. I went to Spain for five weeks during the summer, which I couldn’t do if I was full-time fostering. So, it allows me to do things like that.

There is such a demand for respite that I'm virtually always working - though I can take breaks whenever I want to.

How does this lifestyle compare to your life as a nurse?

I wanted to be a nurse from a very young age. I was the Senior Sister in A&E when I left nursing, and I'd done everything that I wanted to do. Leaving before retirement age was a big strain on me at the time, but - apart from the friendships I had there - I don’t miss it, because fostering fulfils me.

Do you have much of a fostering network in Kent?

In Kent we're really, really lucky. Our group of foster carers are all really, really close. So, as well as attending the Support Group Meetings and the P&C Support Groups run by Blue Sky, we have our own WhatsApp group and we're always chatting on there.

Tell me more about Carer Connect

With Carer Connect there aren’t any staff involved, it’s just run and attended by foster carers, and each hub has its own Carer Connect group. Rupert [Bolger], the Director of Operations at Blue Sky, gives me a budget and I organise either coffee mornings for our foster carers or days out that include our whole families.

The events are all funded by the Carer Connect budget, and it means we all stay together as a really good group. Our wider families all become involved. If you have older children and grandchildren, you risk not doing so much with them because your time is focused on fostering. This is a good way of including everybody.

When we all come together, and with our wider families through Carer Connect events, it means everyone in the family is doing something together. It's really special.

How big is the Carer Connect group in Kent?

We’ve got about 10 or 11 foster carers in the group, so it's not massive.

But I imagine that can grow quite big with everyone's family…

Yes, we can make quite an impression! We went to the zoo in April and there were 42 of us in the end; it quickly gets bigger because you've got children and then the grandchildren. It’s really good.

How often do you run a Carer Connect event?

Well, the budget isn’t infinite, so we try and arrange something every couple of months. This month we all had lunch together at the office, so we had a free venue. But we were able to pay for somebody to look after the children.

All the parents got together and had a nice lunch and a chat. And then the kids were all looked after in the children's room next door. It gives everyone a nice break.

You seem a very busy woman!

Yes, I like to be busy!

As well as Carer Connect I know you are also a Home Visit Completing Carer. Can you tell me more about it?

An 'in-home visit' is when someone contacts Blue Sky Fostering to say they're interested in becoming a foster carer, and then someone from Blue Sky goes to their home to visit them. It can simply be an opportunity for someone to discover more about fostering, or it can lead to someone applying to become a foster carer.

What used to happen is that somebody would get in touch with Blue Sky and say they were interested in fostering, and then a staff member would come out and talk to them about fostering. But the thing is, most staff don't have that personal perspective of what fostering is really like. So Blue Sky asked if any foster carers were also happy to speak with interested people about fostering.

Now I go out and I talk to them about what fostering is really like. I ask them questions about their life, and I also look at their house and make sure that there's space and cleanliness for having a child. I talk to them about the different types of fostering. It all takes about an hour to an hour and a half of chatting and discussing.

They will ask me questions and I’ll ask them questions, and it's just like a big discussion. After the visit, I write a report that I send to Marcus, our Recruitment Enquiries Manager. Marcus looks over my report and if we agree that they are appropriate for fostering then he’ll send them an application form to formally apply.

When did you first start carrying out home visits?

I started doing them just before lockdown, and I've been doing them ever since.

How did you find having an in-home visit yourself?

Well, when I did it, I had staff come to interview me, so it was quite different. I'm fortunate that my daughter’s in-laws were foster carers, and I’d had a lot of contact with them and their foster children, so I’d seen first-hand what it was all about. I was ready for it!

What would you say to anyone who's considering having an in-home visit?

Think of questions that you'd like to ask, things that you'd want to know. Although they can always ring up afterwards and ask questions, it's easier if they know what they want to know, so that I can tell them what it is!

It’s also good for them to read about fostering so they understand what fostering is about. That will help them to decide as to whether this is something that they really want to do. 

What’s been one of the highlights of fostering for you?

The thing about Respite fostering is that you have the children - or parents and children - stay with you for a very short period of time, so it's not about working miracles. But I always call Respite holiday. I get to go and do fun things with them, and we go out places.

I don't do this for the money – I already have my pension - I do this because I enjoy it.

So, I'm quite happy to spend the fostering money that I earn going out and enjoying it and having fun with them, so that they feel that it's like a holiday and not just that they’re stuck in a different home.

So, they don't come to me for respite: they come to me for a holiday.