Mother’s Day in Foster Care

Mother’s Day for children and young people in care can be tough. We sat down with a Blue Sky Young Person to gain a unique perspective on what this day represents for them, and how they navigate the emotional turbulence in the lead-up to this annual event.

"Mother’s Day is not always an easy day, its plastered all over the shops and TV, and in a way, is a lot like Christmas where it’s all in your face, wherever you turn. For some people, it’s not always a good day – some people don’t have a relationship with their mother and some people can’t have a relationship with their mother, for reasons out of their own hands.

I used to celebrate Mother’s Day as a child, but later on in life I learnt that the meaning for Mother’s Day is to give thanks for everything your mother has done for you and provided you. And for me, this wasn’t much. My mother may have clothed me, given food and a roof over my head, but she didn’t give me the most important thing a child needs; security and safety. She was putting her needs before mine, and in a terrible ways. So now, I don’t celebrate Mother’s Day or Father’s Day… neither of them.

I will be using the day to say thank you to my foster mother.

But, that doesn’t matter, because I don’t have to celebrate Mother’s Day and neither do you. If you do, that’s great and if you’re struggling, you could always change Mother’s Day to suit you.

Instead of celebrating a Mother, you could use it to say thank you to your Social Worker or your foster parents, or even for your sibling that may have been more of a parent to you in your life.

Don’t get upset over the silly holiday, it’s not worth getting yourself upset over it. It’s like Valentine’s Day - where people get so worked up, because another year rolls round and they still have no-one to share it with. My sister and I used to give each other cards and a small gift to cheer each other up!

Mother’s Day is a hard day for many different people, that’s all I’m trying to say, so use the day to praise and celebrate someone important in your life, like an extra birthday, and it doesn’t have to be the same person every year. I know this year I will be using the day to say thank you to my foster mother. I may not live with her anymore, but her and her husband have helped me so much over the last year, even though I don’t physically live with them. And they’re still doing so much for my little sister. It just goes to show that blood doesn’t mean family, family is who you choose it to be.

So be your own person and choose who you think has given you so much, and helped you so much. Use the day to say a simple thank you and show your appreciation for them and all they do."